Burnout, Emotional Eating & Season 5

Let me set the stage: I’ve been working in the Country Club—F&B sector since 2021. What started as a mere internship turned into a much longer stay than I could have ever planned… but for good reason.

Since most of my life now revolves around work, it only makes sense to admit—these past weeks, I’ve basically been living in a state of chronic burnout. It became glaringly obvious not too long ago. One Sunday, after a grueling lunch shift, I came home, took a shower, and completely crashed—falling asleep at 4:30pm and not waking up until 5am the next day. I brought it up with my therapist (yes, shout-out to self-awareness and mood tracking).

Fast forward to last week: I ended up with an ear infection. Honestly, I had seen this coming—the signs were all there, but anytime the thought popped up, I’d drown it out by burying myself in more work.

Today, I finally feel better.

While on meds (timed perfectly to help me sleep!), I kept wondering: Why now? Why is my body sending out these distress signals? The answer was right there in my gut—literally. My body knew better and was practically shouting: “Enough. We need a break!”

That’s when a tidal wave of feelings hit me—not just physical pain, but guilt for not working and shame about being on sick leave so long. (Guilt and shame are old foes of mine… but that’s a topic for another blog post.)

Why am I sharing all this? Because I’ve been wrestling with the whole concept of burnout. My research only echoed what I was feeling: the rules never apply equally to everyone. But here’s the one thing we burnouters have in common—it’s as clear as an August afternoon: you start to carry this haunting, bitter truth—you don’t belong there anymore.

Let me be clear—I choose to be there every day, even if I’m not ready to dive into my reasons with the world just yet. Still, I keep wondering: When will it end? Why did I pick this path out of all the possible ones? What does this place reflect in me?

Apparently, burnout is supposed to last six weeks. Six weeks?! Whoever decided that must’ve placebo-cured themselves just to escape counting the endless days.

Look—I actually do feel better now. My spirit stayed high, even as my body was smoldering from the infection. Yet something else was eating away at me. Nights turned miserable; the pain would spike, and I’d find myself slowly wandering into the kitchen, eating my feelings away. Lost the battle—again.

But I’m determined to find something good in all of this. I started writing out how I felt—a full-on brain dump in my diary (which, honestly, I’m still not brave enough to reread).

Remember when I said I signed up for that Project Management course? This is part of the reason why. I created my own burnout by longing for something more meaningful, something more creative. This is my way out.

Now, it’s Season 5. Like clockwork, every year around the end of July or the start of August, my body gives out—stomach issues, sinus infections, ear troubles. Clearly, there’s a recurring pattern here. So now I’m asking myself—what am I missing? What am I neglecting, without even realizing it, in the months leading up to this annual crash?

Once again, thank you for reading my blog.

With love,

Aneta